Very soon, we will have the first Indian vice-president in the US, and I am so excited. Did you see that she even gave a shout out to her chithis, what an achievement for India, the Kamala (lotus flower) ruling in India, and the Kamala in power in the foreign, where are the laddoos I say, when will those be distributed?

I mean, if we cannot all feel pride at Kamala’s success, all us extended aunts and uncles, what should we feel proud of then, our own success? Of course not. If there is any issue I am having, not child, I meant ‘issue’ as in concern, it is that Indian media is not giving enough coverage to our Kamala – does she prefer Ilayaraja over AR Rahman, will she have veg biryani recognised as best food by UN, and whether, she too, like our prime minister, likes to have mangoes? What about first person interviews of those who met her, for ten seconds or less, while she was growing up, surely they knew what she was going to become, as us Indians love to say ‘Morning shows the day’? Very bad, I say, very bad.

What you say? She rarely claims to be Indian? Of course, that’s fine, that’s what makes her more Indian, we Indians never claim to recognise another Indian when we meet the other in ‘the foreign’, who knows whether the other will try to push a ‘business opportunity’ based on the fact that your uncles, thrice removed, knew each together? She didn’t support India’s stance on Kashmir, arrey so what, so many Indians don’t either, we are like this only. We say one thing here, one thing there, tell parents going to study, then actually go to see phillim, so what? Only makes her more Indian.

She is an American, is that what you are saying, and her Indian origin means little to who she is or what she has become or what she wants to project herself as, and so we Indians should stop laying it on thick, trying to appropriate the achievements of someone who barely considers herself Indian?

But how can you say that? See it doesn’t matter if she is American. The way we Indians see it, if you are successful abroad, we will declare you are Indian, and if you are a failure in India, we will remind you that you are Italian. Logic, no?

DISCLAIMER : This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.