If President Donald Trump is to be believed – and there is no reason why he shouldn’t be – life in the White House is not always a bed of roses. For one thing, the bathroom which the current incumbent uses doesn’t come up to presidential standards, or rather, the shower installed in it doesn’t.
Making public his disaffection the president has gone on to say “You take a shower, the water doesn’t come out … So, what do you do? You just stand there longer, or you take a shower longer? Because my hair – I don’t know about you, but it has to be perfect. Perfect.”
We can sympathise with him. How can anyone be the watchdog and champion of democracy the world over, start a trade war with China, and prepare to fight an electoral battle against a sneaky fella like Joe Biden, all at once, when one is having a bad hair day? It’s just not fair.
The problem, it seems, is a US law dating back to 1992 which regulates the specifications of American shower heads to ensure that they cannot emit more than 9.5 litres of water per minute.
The president would like this amount of water to be released from each nozzle on the shower head, which environmentalists say would result in a fourfold, or sixfold, increase in the release of water, a prodigal waste of an essential resource.
To resolve this impasse between environmental concerns and the imperative of perfect hair, the president might take a tip from the sizeable Indian community in the US, which he is assiduously wooing for the upcoming election, even as he takes pot shots at Joe Biden’s vice-presidential choice, Kamala Harris, for her subcontinental origins.
Indians, even those who live abroad, tend to stick to tradition when it comes to bathing, preferring the swadeshi balti to the videshi bathtub – Yuck! Imagine soaking yourself in all that dirty, soapy water – or shower.
A balti bath provides maximum cleanliness with minimum water usage and represents a root memory of rural life in which the precious liquid has to be fetched from distant ponds or rivers.
To save water and yet keep his perfect hair perfect, Prez Trump would do well to put a balti on what might aptly be called his bucket list.
DISCLAIMER : This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.